I would love to give credit to whoever created this artwork but I’m unable to locate the artist. It’s perfect though in providing a graphic description of what goes on in most of our heads. Every day, we generate anywhere from 12,000 – 50,000 thoughts a day. That’s an incredible amount. Can you imagine if we acted on every single thought that chugged through? My mind is imploding just thinking of the chaos.
In the past, I have put myself through the emotional wringer…
“Oh hey, that looks like fun, never done that before, let’s give it a whirl!”
One thought led to another and the things I wanted were manifested. But, they weren’t well thought out thoughts; I absolutely did not weigh in with consequences and I ended up feeling like this:
This article was my a-ha moment for today. I say “for today” because I understand about choices and the like. It’s just that some days, spiritual oneness and peace seem further out of reach. It’s a lengthy read but I took this little nugget:
“We make a thousand choices a day, each one a bargain in which the brain weighs expected benefits against expected costs. Therefore, it’s important to make good bargains, good choices, in which the real benefits are greater than the real costs.”
…and snapped to attention immediately.
So, what I had thought would feel wonderful and good, i.e., what I pulled out from the bargain rack ended up costing me more than I thought and ultimately, I was left feeling awful after putting myself though the emotional wringer. Undoubtedly, it affected other people too.
I’ve felt a little wobbly thought-wise the last couple of days. I knew it vaguely as I went about my days: driving, eating dinner, interacting with my family, writing, whatever…I knew it. I tried to control my thoughts with affirmations and repeated phrases but they built like a crescendo. Not to the point where I grabbed something off the bargain rack in an unrestrained fit of desire, nor was I reduced to anything emotional.
But if they persisted, I could be tempted to veer off my soulful path.
That happens a lot. Let’s face it, I’ve only been meditating regularly for four months so I’m still seeking my truth. I have had to guide myself back from whatever thorny mess that I’ve wandered into a number of times.
Those thoughts were most apparent during meditation; the incessant chattering of those stupid monkeys! It was work, let me tell you, to ask to be brought back to my mantra time and again. Persistence paid off though and I am able to smile at the process. Today I felt that sought-after glimpse of clarity and deep, deep gratitude. That one brief, shiny moment was worth fending off some of that off-the-wall shit those monkeys threw.
I never used to be the kind of person to think things through and I’m still really not. I’m impetuous and I dash headlong into things. But when it comes to the important stuff that matters to me and to those closest to me, I truly do know that the more I learn, the more I read and the more I meditate, the better I feel about the thoughts that come and go.
And the better I will become at plucking and running with the ones that have wonderful outcomes.