Friday Fictioneers – Dirt

photo - Danny Bowman

photo – Danny Bowman

Word count:  99

Dirt

“Old school dirt?”  What the hell did that mean?  Liz reached for the receiver with pincer fingers and peered inside at the broken wires; it didn’t make sense to send her to a broken phone.  Was she supposed to understand something in the words?  She said them aloud again, confused, then wheeled around desperately searching for a sign from the kidnappers.  The New York street was a blur of strangers, any one of whom could hold an answer.  Disappearing from her left, Liz heard, “dirt racing,” and from the right, “Buffalo, bitch.”  Abruptly, she knew her ex was involved.

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18 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – Dirt

  1. You conveyed an excellent sense of confusion. There’s so much going on with this picture, it is hard to know where to focus. The last couple of lines only added to the sense of random confusion, but connected to the words Old school dirt enough to add a sense that things were starting to come together for Liz. Well done, darling.

      • I agree, the last couple of lines had me thwarted. Mind you, I’d spent most pf my day revising a short story so perhaps I should’ve saved this for tomorrow.

      • Are you planning on posting the short story? I’d definitely be interested in something you’d spent a good deal of time on — I enjoyed the feel of your writing, so I could only imagine what a well-edited piece would be like.

      • Thank you. Actually I’m planning on submitting it to a short story competition. I already have one floating out there that I’m waiting on and if it’s published or not, I’ll post it.

  2. Lisa,
    It’s a challenge to pack a story into a compact space of 100 words. It’s all about cutting and pasting. Most of the time my stories start out one way and end up quite another. I’ve found that it’s worth the effort and practice. This exercise in brevity has practically revolutionized my writing as a whole.
    Sorry for my long-winded missive. Hope to encourage.
    Rochelle

    • Rochelle,

      No, no…thank you for your words of encouragement. Creatively, I was tapped out the day I wrote this having spent hours revising a story. And the picture confused me more than inspired me but I was determined to squeeze out a piece. It shows!
      Onward and upward!
      Lisa

  3. Actually, from where I was reading the confusion fits the situation she found herself in – if my kid was kidnapped (I understood that when the ex was mentioned), confusion and hazy and dislocated thoughts and images would abound. I think it’s well done and fits the idea.

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