Bon Nuit


~Because I could not stop for death

He kindly stopped for me

The carriage held but just Ourselves

And Immortality~

…Emily Dickinson


Heavy-hearted today from the news of the death of an old friend.  He and I had a relationship many years ago that was tumultuous, intoxicating, magnetic; I was young, and stumbling down my own path with blinkers on. He was along for the ride, holding on as best he could. It ended badly. The demise of that relationship coupled with financial and career problems prompted me to make the biggest move of my life, that to start afresh in America.

However, thanks to social media, the passage of time, and hindsight, we were able to find a good footing with each other. All that had happened was well and truly past, and as with such pasts, we came to understand somewhat the reasons for things, we found some answers to those long-forgotten questions. We had gotten on with our lives and had turned out just fine and were so very happy to be reacquainted again as welcome old friends.

He passed last night after a few years battling illness. It actually seemed positive for a while, after various forms of treatment seemed to have done the job. But I guess when the spirit knows its time, when all human avenues have come to a cul-de-sac, death will not be stopped.

We shared our last conversation two weeks ago in which he wanted me to know how happy he was to have been a part of my life. That I had a loving husband and family. I told him to come see me on his way out.  He said he would.  Today I find myself scrabbling to remember dream messages or waking messages from yesterday…but I find none.

I am certain that there is more to the Universe than life on this planet. My friend is a wonderfully warm ball of love and light, a collection of all he has amassed from his time here and he is taking all he has learned to his next life, wherever and whenever that may be.

I weep for him today. As does his family, and so many friends around the world.

It’s never goodbye or resting.

It’s simply Goodnight, my friend Ken.



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