Lately I’ve not practiced meditation, lately I’ve not written a anything significant. In fact, it’s more than lately but how do we measure ‘lately’ anyway? By my standards, my journey being what it is, lately is almost two months. There was a time when I might have felt a pang of guilt, coaxed on by the ego to make me feel bad, to make me feel inadequate, to make me feel as if I have no idea what I’m doing, to make me feel unworthy of being me.
I don’t these days. I’m strong to my core, for it’s a place I’ve visited and come to know intimately. I know I’m there and that my light shines like a beacon for me to find when I’m ready to return. So, I don’t feel any guilt. If anything, I feel right and ‘where I’m meant to be.’
I read: http://findyourmiddleground.com/2014/06/09/accept-the-seasons-of-your-heart/ (I had trouble naming the link so had to post the whole URL) one of my favorite, spiritual, healthy, and loving bloggers, Val Boyko. “Accept the seasons of your heart.” reinforced what I already knew; I’m in a great place with a few niggles from history which, by god, I think will be nipping over my shoulder forever. However, I’m ok without meditation. I’m ok with not writing. I’m ok. My energies are focused elsewhere. Not that I can’t do more than one thing at once, it’s just the way it is right now.
Occasionally I’ll stop and check in, usually when I’m at a traffic light, or washing dishes, or cooking, or folding laundry, and feel the smile that flows from the very insides of me right up to my face.
Right there, I know I’m doing what’s right for me.